Tenet #17 from 101 Tenets for Ladies and Gentlemen: A Southern Guide to Good Behavior

Tenet #17: When a lady finds herself in a compromising position, she should hold tight to her dignity. In the end, it may be all she has.

This particular tennet is one which confronts me on a regular basis. Not that I am the type of lady who would voluntarily put herself in a compromising position. But being the spirit of a Southern debutante trapped in the body of a homosexual man, one has little choice in the matter.

The term "compromising position" can refer to a number of unsavory circumstances in which one might find oneself. However, for my purposes, I refer to those circumstances which would call into question the appropriateness of one's behavior. It is not the circumstances themselves, but the behavior itself which may draw such judgment.

For instance, I can hardly be at fault for finding myself, securely bound within the body of my host Master Joseph, stumbling through streets of a dingy little part of town known as East Village at the end of a long evening of cavorting at the local saloon. (I should clarify that in this East Village several local saloons can be passed on the walk to underground railway which Master Joseph rides to his own township called the Queens.) And I can hardly be responsible for stopping to talk with any random man who may be out walking a tiny dog in the evening. It is not the fact that I am on the street at an hour which is far past appropriate trying to make a thinly veiled attempt to return to this man's apartment with him, which brings my character into question. Such attempts always ends in a lonely walk to the underground train station anyway. It is, rather, my attitude toward being in such a situation which confirms my position as a lady of society. I remain focused on the positive aspects of the situation, such as the chance encounter with a smaller than normal household pet. I remind myself that this is not my body, and whatever Master Joseph wishes to do with it is his concern, which usually ends up being something that will go unmentioned here but involves the several workout magazines stored beside the commode.

And there you have it. I can think of no more compromising position than my current one, yet I stand resolute in my principles and remain the lady I am known to be. So should you practice the strength and courage to behave likewise, should you find yourself in compromising positions of your own.

Yours,

Miss Magnolia Beatrice Devareux Beaumont, Debutante